The friendliness of Humans
I noticed when I lived in Canada ten years ago (oh my, make that eleven. When did I get old?) that although a wonderful people, the Canadians are generally a lot colder, or initially standoffish, than Australians. This is of course a generalisation, but I believe it generally holds true.
My very good Canadian friend was not a hugger when I met her - she got all tetchy if you touched her. This was of course slightly amusing, and after force-hugging her for a few months she came around to the hugging way of being, and is now more of a hugger than I am (hugging in warm climates is of course often sticky and gross, and therefore I believe Canada is much more suited climatically to hugging).
We had a few discussions about the friendliness (or not) of Kanucks v. Aussies, and she was firmly of the mind that it has to do with external temperatures. Canada, being of a frigid clime, creates a colder race of people, in terms of friendliness. Australia, being warm bordering on boiling, breeds a warmer, or at least outwardly more friendly, race. This is of course a simplistic definition. However, as the histories and cultures of our countries are relatively similar, I believe it's a relatively sound, albeit basic, theory.
This thesis has really come back to me after spending the last year-plus in England. At first I met a lot of Aussies, through my Australian friends, but once I joined choir I started to meet Brits. A greater bunch of people I couldn't have dreamed up, as my choir is the best in the universe and I won't hear anything bad about any member of it's angelic crew. What really struck me when I joined, however, was that these Londoners, who generally wouldn't talk to you on the street, suddenly would talk to you on the street - because they recognised you from choir. This phenomenon strikes me as very Jane Austen - you cannot converse until you've been introduced, i.e. until it's been established that you are in the same circle, have the right connections etc. This is not to say that any of my fellow choirsters are snobs (despite their Tory-voting, Cambridge-attending ways I won't hear anything bad said about them!) - it's just the way English society is. I know you, therefore I can speak to you. You're a stranger, you'll stay that way. Italy couldn't be more different.
The number of people I have met in Italy is astounding. I know I'm generally a relatively friendly person, but after a year of living in the UK I tend to plug in my Naom-iPod and sit on public transport like any seasoned Undergrounder, avoiding eye contact and waiting for this interminable hell to be over. Despite my new English demeanor, I have made friends everywhere I've gone on buses, trains and metros in Italy. Whether it's to tell me how beautiful I am (Italian men), to advise me to watch my belongings like a hawk (older Italian men), or to engage me in in-depth discussion regarding my plans for Italy, life and children (Italian women), I have been pushed out of my UG zone into a public-transport-is-for-making-friends zone (okay, so I couldn't think of a snappy description).
Concern for my well being has been the overall emotion I have detected from these people (except the horny blokes, of course, whose concern is only for... well, you know). This is not completely different from London, where if you are a tourist looking extremely lost someone might offer you some assistance - of course they are likely to be an expat themselves (I'm forever offering bemused tourists assistance, unless of course I'm in a hurry, in which case these bloody tourists better move out of my bloody way quick smart), but on the odd occasion they will be a native. English people often state this unfriendliness is a London phenomenon, which I can understand as it's such a big, hard city. However, my experience yesterday may point to it being more widespread.
The difference between this English (note: cold climate) and Italian (Southern Italy, at any rate: very hot) way of being really struck me yesterday when I came to Pompeii. On the train from Rome I sat next to a lovely Italian woman (from Rome, so not a country bumpkin by any means) who motioned that I should unplug my ears so we could converse for the two hour train journey. She apologised profusely any time she had to halt our conversation to answer her phone, and she offered me her number in case I had any trouble in Naples. The Marias of the world truly are wonderful.
Once I got to Pompeii I asked a group of people in front of me if they knew where the ruins are, and they turned out to be English tourists. One of the girls (somewhat reluctantly) allowed me to engage her in stilted conversation, but they made several pointed attempts to get rid of me - even when we were standing in the tourist office awaiting maps. Now perhaps this attitude - that seriously bordered on rudeness - was because they were an established group, which some people may find understandable. I found it offensive, however, because I didn't want to attach myself to them, I simply wanted to find my way to the ruins and I didn't have a map. I was making conversation because that is what people do when they're tourists together in a strange land. It is worth noting they were not from London: they were from near Bristol. Perhaps I will now be told Bristolians (?) are an unfriendly bunch too, however it makes me wonder about that simple cold/hot theory.
Being of a contrary nature I have to point out the inconsistencies in this theory, primarily being that I found Ireland (cold) to be full of extremely friendly natives, and I met a fellow Aussie yesterday who was a total jerk, which may be put down to the fact that he's a cocky young jock from Sydney, but somewhat disproves my warm=friendly thesis.
Librarian Out.
My very good Canadian friend was not a hugger when I met her - she got all tetchy if you touched her. This was of course slightly amusing, and after force-hugging her for a few months she came around to the hugging way of being, and is now more of a hugger than I am (hugging in warm climates is of course often sticky and gross, and therefore I believe Canada is much more suited climatically to hugging).
We had a few discussions about the friendliness (or not) of Kanucks v. Aussies, and she was firmly of the mind that it has to do with external temperatures. Canada, being of a frigid clime, creates a colder race of people, in terms of friendliness. Australia, being warm bordering on boiling, breeds a warmer, or at least outwardly more friendly, race. This is of course a simplistic definition. However, as the histories and cultures of our countries are relatively similar, I believe it's a relatively sound, albeit basic, theory.
This thesis has really come back to me after spending the last year-plus in England. At first I met a lot of Aussies, through my Australian friends, but once I joined choir I started to meet Brits. A greater bunch of people I couldn't have dreamed up, as my choir is the best in the universe and I won't hear anything bad about any member of it's angelic crew. What really struck me when I joined, however, was that these Londoners, who generally wouldn't talk to you on the street, suddenly would talk to you on the street - because they recognised you from choir. This phenomenon strikes me as very Jane Austen - you cannot converse until you've been introduced, i.e. until it's been established that you are in the same circle, have the right connections etc. This is not to say that any of my fellow choirsters are snobs (despite their Tory-voting, Cambridge-attending ways I won't hear anything bad said about them!) - it's just the way English society is. I know you, therefore I can speak to you. You're a stranger, you'll stay that way. Italy couldn't be more different.
The number of people I have met in Italy is astounding. I know I'm generally a relatively friendly person, but after a year of living in the UK I tend to plug in my Naom-iPod and sit on public transport like any seasoned Undergrounder, avoiding eye contact and waiting for this interminable hell to be over. Despite my new English demeanor, I have made friends everywhere I've gone on buses, trains and metros in Italy. Whether it's to tell me how beautiful I am (Italian men), to advise me to watch my belongings like a hawk (older Italian men), or to engage me in in-depth discussion regarding my plans for Italy, life and children (Italian women), I have been pushed out of my UG zone into a public-transport-is-for-making-friends zone (okay, so I couldn't think of a snappy description).
Concern for my well being has been the overall emotion I have detected from these people (except the horny blokes, of course, whose concern is only for... well, you know). This is not completely different from London, where if you are a tourist looking extremely lost someone might offer you some assistance - of course they are likely to be an expat themselves (I'm forever offering bemused tourists assistance, unless of course I'm in a hurry, in which case these bloody tourists better move out of my bloody way quick smart), but on the odd occasion they will be a native. English people often state this unfriendliness is a London phenomenon, which I can understand as it's such a big, hard city. However, my experience yesterday may point to it being more widespread.
The difference between this English (note: cold climate) and Italian (Southern Italy, at any rate: very hot) way of being really struck me yesterday when I came to Pompeii. On the train from Rome I sat next to a lovely Italian woman (from Rome, so not a country bumpkin by any means) who motioned that I should unplug my ears so we could converse for the two hour train journey. She apologised profusely any time she had to halt our conversation to answer her phone, and she offered me her number in case I had any trouble in Naples. The Marias of the world truly are wonderful.
Once I got to Pompeii I asked a group of people in front of me if they knew where the ruins are, and they turned out to be English tourists. One of the girls (somewhat reluctantly) allowed me to engage her in stilted conversation, but they made several pointed attempts to get rid of me - even when we were standing in the tourist office awaiting maps. Now perhaps this attitude - that seriously bordered on rudeness - was because they were an established group, which some people may find understandable. I found it offensive, however, because I didn't want to attach myself to them, I simply wanted to find my way to the ruins and I didn't have a map. I was making conversation because that is what people do when they're tourists together in a strange land. It is worth noting they were not from London: they were from near Bristol. Perhaps I will now be told Bristolians (?) are an unfriendly bunch too, however it makes me wonder about that simple cold/hot theory.
Being of a contrary nature I have to point out the inconsistencies in this theory, primarily being that I found Ireland (cold) to be full of extremely friendly natives, and I met a fellow Aussie yesterday who was a total jerk, which may be put down to the fact that he's a cocky young jock from Sydney, but somewhat disproves my warm=friendly thesis.
Librarian Out.
posted by NomesD at 10:54 am
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home